Text Messages

*Names are withheld to protect the innocent.

Just a sample of texts received this morning.

Random Athlete/Player:
Hey mate hamstrings feel great after rub u might b right i do have a few more years left in me! Enjoy carb intake day. C u in d morning.

My Response:
U should tell that stupid c*nt ‘Other Random Athlete/Player’…if he wasn’t as thick as pig shit he’d b getting those pathetic wheels of his worked on a bit every few days.

Random Athlete/Player:
He’s a fag who does not like pain. I love pain!

These ones were two of my favourites this morning though:

Other Random Athlete/Player/Coach:
My arms are fucked, worse than yesterday.

Yet Another Random Athlete/Player:
I think I may be paralysed. I actually physically fell into d shitter dis morning. Had 2 get my Ma 2 pull me out. Stupid squats.

My Response:
Pull yourself together u pathetic baby b4 I have 2 ring ur mother 2 c if she noticed whether ur balls had dropped when she was pulling u out of d toilet!

It is the fantastic feedback I receive daily from the players, athletes and coaches with whom I work that really make my job worth doing.

Just this second got an important text update:

Update: my are still fucked and are killing me, I actually cannot function!


2 thoughts on “Text Messages

  1. Damn, Will this is getting bad. now you’re making up false text messages from your imaginary athletes.

    What will Anonymous think?

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